Tag Archives: English jokes

Dirty English words

Not very long ago we talked about the following dinky joke with some of my students:
What do you want for breakfast ?
A 7 year old and a 4 year old are upstairs in their bedroom. “You
know what?” says the 7 year old, “I think it’s about time we started
swearing.”
The 4 year old nods his head in approval.
“When we go downstairs for breakfast I’m gonna swear first, then you swear after me, ok?”
“Ok” the 4 year old agrees with enthusiasm. The mother walks into
the kitchen and asks the 7 year old what he wants for breakfast.
“Oh, shit mum, I guess I’ll have some Coco Pops” WHACK!! He flew
out of his chair, tumbled across the kitchen floor, got up, and ran
upstairs crying his eyes out.
She looked at the 4 year old and asked with a stern voice, “And what
do YOU want for breakfast, young man?!” “I don’t know” he blubbers, “but you can bet your fucking arse it won’t be Coco Pops.”

On this occasion some students started by asking me why we shouldn’t learn some really hard swears and bad words you occasionally hear in the street. Good gracious! I can’t do that in our lessons, I’m afraid. I’m not looking for trouble with the parents.
So I decided not give the really bad words out, but a moderate, traditional English alternative. All can use them, as they are inoffensive. Would you like to join?
Here comes the first one:
You may say „shit“ if something went wrong which is all too common. Why not using „blast it!“ instead? „Bloody hell“ is also practicable.

More is soon to follow.

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